Stand up comedy stage

The Ballad of the Observational Stand-Up Comedian

I am an observational stand-up comedian
I observe my moment is upon me

I am an observational stand-up comedian
I notice my notes make no sense
I observe the compere invite me up

I am an observational stand-up comedian
I notice my feet leading me centre stage
I observe the audience
I notice the expectation in their eager faces

I am an observational stand-up comedian
I observe the bright lights
I notice how they burn when I look up
I observe my opening line drift towards the back of the room
I notice the entropy as the energy dissipates

I am an observational stand-up comedian
I observe the growing indifference of my audience
I notice the agitation of the disappointed compere
I observe the disinterest of my rivals in the wings
I notice five minutes is longer than I realised
I observe seconds of silence where laughter should be

I am an observational stand-up comedian
I notice sweat sliding across my forehead
I observe my shirt is slick and sticking to my sides
I notice the mediocrity of my material
I observe outside my room it’s not enough
I notice the compere tap the face of his watch
I observe my crawl towards the punchline
I notice that I am adding insult to injury
As there isn’t one

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2 thoughts on “The Ballad of the Observational Stand-Up Comedian

  1. Dear sir, I happen to be an extremely unfunny observational stand up comedian and I find the content of your ‘blog’ post highly offensive! Your representation of an observational stand up comedians suffering from the realisation of his unfunnyness and inherent failure, is tantamount to mimicry of the 70’ ‘black face’ comedians and you should be ashamed. Finally I would add that you are OBSERVING how unfunny we are, for comedy purposes, so who’s the real observational comedian????

  2. Pingback: The Men Whose Heads Expanded « The Empty Page

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